The Bad Kitty recently found himself chatting with someone who considers themselves to be something of an expert on etiquette. With business finished we relocated to a hostelry and continued our chat but focussing on topics of more interest to readers of BKE.
A simple question was asked: “What is the correct etiquette regarding ejaculation?”
A raised eyebrow was the response until the question was explained in simpler terms. When it was broken down further there were more raised eyebrows. At which point the chap offered to buy drinks and hastily retreated to the bar to consider his answers as well as get a pint of Frulli for the Kitty.
It wasn’t a subject he had given much thought to until I asked about it. Quite what that says about his sex life the Bad Kitty really wouldn’t know. Yes, saucer of milk for the Bad Kitty please
It appears that there aren’t any sections in Debrett’s covering the many different aspects of sexual etiquette. Given Debrett’s origins this isn’t that much of a surprise but maybe they can be persuaded that sex is fun and good conduct should be encouraged in this aspect of life as well as others.
There does seem to be a piece about ejaculation etiquette that’s been copied to various places. The article itself seems somewhat limited so Bad Kitty wants to crowdsource a better general ejaculation etiquette 101 piece:
- When to warn
- Where to release
- How to clean up
- How not to handle such situations
Let’s start with a few thoughts from KittySpace. This is written primarily from a Boy Kitty’s perspective so informative comments from ladies are welcome.
Some people seem to think that only men ejaculate. The Bad Kitty is here to tell you that this idea is sadly misinformed. Women can and do ejaculate. If this is something you haven’t encountered don’t worry. Just don’t think that ejaculation is only for men.
When To Warn
Bad Kitty thinks it is only polite to warn the person you’re having sex with that you’re going to climax soon. Not every shag is going to start with the question “Where would you like me to cum today?”. If you’ve reached an understanding about where you’re going to fire once the condom’s off then that’s great.
When is the optimum time to warn? Depends how quickly you can move to the right position if you want to fire somewhere other than where you’re fucking your fuckbuddy.
Big point 1: Not everyone likes to get cum in their face or in their eyes. Yes it happens in porn but as we all know it’s called a money shot for a reason. Some folk love it, others do not. Bad Kitty thinks there are other sexier places a guy can shoot.
Where To Release
Facials don’t do it that much for this Kitty. The shoulders, between the breasts, on the tummy, ass or feet are all good and sexy alternatives. Guys, remember that if birth control is not being used by both of you, spill the seed away from the pussy area. It only needs one determined sperm to make the pregnancy thing happen. Better safe than sorry.
Big point 2: Not everyone likes to be deep throated by a firing cock. Grabbing your fuckbuddy’s head and holding them in place when you shoot is often a big no-no. Do that to this Kitty and you’ll see his version of Mick Foley’s Mandible Claw in return. That doesn’t mean the Bad Kitty doesn’t like to suck cock and swallow cum – quite the opposite – but there’s a way to behave without choking the recipient. Especially as we have already noted, not everyone is aware of just how much they’re packing in their package.
How To Clean Up
After spilling the seed comes the inevitable clean up. The maxim “You spilled it, you clean it up” should come to mind but some guys just don’t get that and are from the “Insert, spurt and fall asleep” school of thinking. If you’ve climaxed and your fuckbuddy hasn’t, help make the scene more erotic by licking up your spillage.
If tasting your jizz isn’t your bag it’s good to have some Kleenex around to wipe it off and then carry on pleasuring your partner. It’s always better to use a fresh paper tissue which is then disposed of properly than underwear which is then thrown into the laundry basket.
How Not To Handle Things
The pun in the subtitle is unintended, but as we’ve seen sexy things don’t always happen like scenes from a porn flick. If something goes awry, apologise and check that your fuckbuddy is ok before asking if they want to continue. Carrying on regardless until you fire is an extremely impolite thing to do.
If you are new to female ejaculation please do not start singing “O Fortuna” from “Carmina Burana” by Carl Orff (better known as the music from the classic 1970s Old Spice advert) when the lady comes. Sex can have its humorous moments but the Bad Kitty isn’t sure that as someone climaxes is one of them.
That’s a starting point then. What points, comments and advice do BKE readers have? Please share so we can create a good resource about ejaculation etiquette. Of course this is a general approach and doesn’t apply to scenarios where standing instructions have been issued as part of a relationship dynamic.